Dumbshit urban fantasy AU

[alienwear]

Lapis is an ancient vampire from the bronze age who really hates not being allowed to eat humans anymore.

Jasper is a former monster hunter turned vampire by Lapis out of spite.

Peridot is a transgender lesbian polyamorous werewolf who just wants her girlfriends to get along.

There's gonna be porn in the comments.

Comments

This is for Lapis

[alienwear]

The night is Peridot's element.

No, it's not because she's a werewolf. It's because that's when she does her best gaming. While it's not her sole interest, she puts a lot of time and money into this particular hobby, and nights where she can just ooze into her beanbag chair in front of the TV and bang out a few online matches are simply the best nights. It's relaxing!

...Ignore the fact that she's periodically shouting into her headset, that has nothing to do with anything. IT'S. RELAXING. IT'S FUN. SHE'S HAVING FUN.

Her eyes are fixated on the TV screen. Narrowed. Buttons on the controller clack noisily.

yeehaw for jasper circa cowboy era

[mirrortide]

The year is 1832, and you are a horrific man-eating monster.

Normally Lapis doesn't stick around too long after she's made a few kills in a town. It's never really particularly been safe to do, especially with the advancement in technology. Before ending up in that crypt? Sure, she could stay in an area for months on end killing and feeding nightly.

Now she's in an area for a few weeks at most before she moves on, before locals can rally a mob and tan her hide.

At least eating is usually peaceful, as long as she's smart, chooses her victims right. There's already been one half drained dead body left in an ally, and Lapis is working through her second, face and clothes spattered with the blood of both victims.