Dumbshit urban fantasy AU

[alienwear]

Lapis is an ancient vampire from the bronze age who really hates not being allowed to eat humans anymore.

Jasper is a former monster hunter turned vampire by Lapis out of spite.

Peridot is a transgender lesbian polyamorous werewolf who just wants her girlfriends to get along.

There's gonna be porn in the comments.

Comments

[mirrortide]

"Have fun." Lapis says, like an absolute tool, because when Peridot gets up and wavers and wobbles, she reacts by stealing Peridots awful bean bag chair that gives the same awful noise that is kind of a boner kill as she sits in it.

Why does she put up with this? Who knows.

[alienwear]

Lapis gives incredible blow jobs. That's why she puts up with it, and that's the only reason.

She grunts in reply, and disappears to go drink directly from the orange juice carton and slam down a bunch of beef jerky.