Dumbshit urban fantasy AU

[alienwear]

Lapis is an ancient vampire from the bronze age who really hates not being allowed to eat humans anymore.

Jasper is a former monster hunter turned vampire by Lapis out of spite.

Peridot is a transgender lesbian polyamorous werewolf who just wants her girlfriends to get along.

There's gonna be porn in the comments.

Comments

[alienwear]

Lapis gives incredible blow jobs. That's why she puts up with it, and that's the only reason.

She grunts in reply, and disappears to go drink directly from the orange juice carton and slam down a bunch of beef jerky.