alienwear | (no subject)

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The whole point of a bond is to benefit both witch and monster. It's supposed to minimize the monster's feral impulses, make them easier to resist.

This is the first full moon she and Lapis have shared since they became bonded, and Peridot is not sure she's feeling any of those benefits yet. She feels just as agitated as ever, just as on edge. She's lurking up in her room, a victorian bedroom turned out of control greenhouse, pacing back and forth in front of the bedroom window as she keeps a mindful eye on her hoard of plants. She'd contacted Lapis by Watch, asked her to come up to keep her company. Which is frankly an embarrassing request to have to make, but for some reason it's the only thing that she can think that would make her feel any better right now.

Her eyes keep flicking to the door, ears pricked up for the sound of footsteps. It's totally dark in the room except for the moonlight filtering in through the bay window.

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"Irrelevant question. You do, because I say you do," Peridot says stubbornly, with just the tiniest touch of annoyance. "And don't try to change my mind!"

It's... sort of hard to argue with that. Peridot has effectively disarmed her completely, and now she has no idea how she's supposed to be reacting to this.

Well. Peridot already told her that she likes her. And she did say it's not just a moon thing, though she did say it was making her feelings more than usual?

Lapis can't help but worry all the same. "I just... I like you too, Peridot. I don't want to ruin what we already have by wanting more? And I don't even really know what "More" is. I guess it's like that I want to be like Garnet with you, but not.. Entirely?" She's babbling, she knows, and her shoulders hunch nervously. "Not the fusion thing, though, obviously."

That's just a little too much right now. And besides that, they couldn't anyway. Not here.

"Oh stars no," Peridot agrees. "No fusion. And I guess... We don't really have to do anything 'more'. Not anything drastically different, anyway."

She pauses, pawing nervously at the floor.

"There are... some things I kind of have the urge to do, right now, but I don't really... Understand them. And they're definitely a moon thing. I think."

"Yeah? Like what?" She asks, starting to fumble with her hands. Mostly because she needs something to do to try and keep her nerve here. It's fine. Nothing is exploding, they're still friends, Peridot isn't suddenly at her throat for all of the perceived slights that Lapis thinks that she might have against her.

It's fine. If she had a heart, it'd be racing, though.

As it stands, there's just a darker blue blush on her cheeks as she tries to mentally work out what this entire situation means.

Now Peridot is also blushing, the teal in her cheeks visible under her scales.

"I-I... Don't really think you'd like them," she says in a tight and awkward voice, eyes flicking away.

"I thought you said you were gonna get better at the whole avoiding saying things that you thought might upset me." She says, halfheartedly as a joke. "I promise I won't be mad."

"Th-that's not what I mean--" Peridot splutters, becoming genuinely flustered, her ruff flared up in alarm. She smooths that out, ducking her head awkwardly. "It's too embarrassing to explain," she whines dramatically.

"If you say so..." She won't push, in that case. She's already done enough pushing, and Peridot has already put up with her doing so. "But... You're kinda already being weird by keeping me in your room."

Just so she's clear.

"It's not that weird!" Peridot protests, embarrassment surging along their bond. She looks down at her talons, ticking her ears back. "I just wanted to spend time with you... But if you really want to leave, I won't stop you."

"I don't want to leave. Sorry. I was just... trying to make a joke." And obviously, she failed at it. She's trying to put an emphasis on reassurance through their bond, but she can't help but just feel a little bit bad because of it.

"I know I'm not.. exactly always someone who wants company." She starts, awkwardly, but she does take a nervous step towards Peridot all the same. "But I enjoy spending time with you. Even when you're trying to horde me." She says, with a small, unsure chuckle.

Might as well be honest, right?

Peridot had gotten the sense that she was joking, and panicked all the same. Still, it's nice to hear Lapis acknowledge that. She looks up at her with big bright adoring eyes.

"Oh. Okay. Well. Good," she says, smiling like a huge goober. "Well in that case..."

She gets back to her feet and nudges Lapis's waist lightly with her head, trying to push her further in the room.

The nudging gets a bit more of a laugh from her, because, well. It's kind of funny, being pushed around by someone like Peridot. Not in a bad way, it's more like the situation itself is just ridiculous.

She shoves Peridot's head away lightly, obliging her and moving where the nudges had been pushing her to be.

"You know you can just ask, right?"

Turns out she's trying to nudge Lapis over to her favorite spot: The reading nook in the big bay window, which she has basically converted into a cozy nest with a whole bunch of blankets and pillows.

Peridot looks up at her, wagging her tail like a ridiculous dog. "I know, but I've never been able to push people like that before!" she chirps.

She looks absolutely ridiculous. Lapis' lip twitches upwards in a bit of a smile as she lets herself fall back onto Peridot's nest in a semi-dramatic fashion.

"Don't get too used to it. Or I'll turn you Pumpkin sized." She says, pointing her fingers at the dragon in a mock-threat that's more playful than anything else.

Peridot slithers in to join her, curling up at Lapis's back to basically turn herself into a big pillow for the other gem to lean on. She snickers mischievously, stretching her free wing out in the moonlight. It feels excellent on her scales.

"This form already has a Pumpkin sized setting," she admits. "I just don't use it because... Why would I want to make myself smaller?"

"I don't mind you being small, you know." Lapis lets Peridot adjust around her, not quite committing to leaning back against Peridot in full. Mostly because of her gem itself. It's weird. Mentally speaking, because it's something she'd considered before when Peridot still had her regular form, but like this it's strange.

But she wants that physical intimacy that Peridot says she's willing to offer, even if she didn't say that outright.

So she leans, carefully, back against Peridot, until she's entirely in contact with her. It's weird.

"I enjoy having the option to be either," Peridot admits. "But right now, I want to be big."

She curls her tail around in front of Lapis too, gently barricading her in a wall of scales. The niggling feeling she's been having all evening is only strengthening now that she's in the moonlight, tenable to feel over their bond. 'Amorous' is really the only word to describe it, though it's not a word that Peridot knows or would ever thing to use.

Lapis nudges Peridot's tail for no particular reason with her foot as she speaks. She can feel that over their bond, and even though there's still some lingering insecurity and fear on her end, it's more or less washed away but Peridot's stronger ones.

"Bigger isn't always better, you know." Even if Peridot is... Well, she's not really as comfortable as a proper bed or hammock, but she's warm against her, and that's not bad at all.

"Normally, I'd agree with you," the dragon says in a very matter-of-fact tone. "However, I'm pretty pleased with my circumstances as they are right now."

Without really thinking about it, she rubs her cheek on Lapis's upper arm, rumbling contentedly.

"Nerd." Is Lapis' soft reply as Peridot rubs her cheek against her arm. This is nice. Even if she had been on the edge of a complete break down only moments before. Maybe.. Maybe this time, she can do something about it. There's always going to be that low fear in the back of her mind, about this entire thing, but maybe that's alright.

She wants to stop being afraid of everything all the time. To stop being afraid that she'll ruin everything between them, even if Peridot says she won't.

Her other arm moves, and she twists slightly, pressing her hand against Peridot's nose at first, before she works up the courage to pat her head, to leave her hand pressed, ever so gently, against her Gem. It's what she'd been going for before, right?

Peridot rumbles even more heartily, pressing against Lapis's hand. Her eyes droop shut, and the contact sends little tingles all the way through to her claws. She feels emboldened by Lapis's touch, and by her determination to overcome her fears.

Well look at that. Nothing bad is happening. Peridot seems grateful for the contact, or at least she doesn't mind it, and Lapis rubs her thumb over the Gem there once again.

The relief is palpable, from what Peridot might feel over their bond, to how Lapis' shoulders sag a little bit and how her body itself becomes less tense.

Just touching her gem is one thing. Rubbing it, on the other hand, is a whole new sensation the likes of which Peridot has never experienced before. She moans, openly, a noise that is objectively horrid and nasally but undeniably an expression of pleasure. Under the influence of the full moon, it makes that unidentified feeling of longing that she's been grappling with all night surge in intensity.

A hot teal flush creeps beneath her scales, and she scoops a paw behind Lapis's butt, purring like a motorboat and nudging with her snout to get Lapis to do that again.

She stops touching at first, hand semi-withdrawing until Peridot shoves her entire head forward for more of it.

So she does, a little more firmly. With more purpose to it this time.

Her reaction is much the same as before, rutting her forehead into the offered touch, but with Lapis's increased sense of purpose, Peridot's reaction increases in intensity as well. Those feral instincts she's been grappling with off and on all night take the wheel, but now, instead of being aggressive and defensive, she's growing... Aggressively horny.

It's a feeling she broadcasts unabashedly over their bond, not knowing any better, tearing herself away from Lapis's hand to instead raise her head, and rub her cheek against Lapis's, rumbling saucily.